And Just Like That …

Life can be cringey. So cringe. And keep watching.

And Just Like That is cringey. So is life. Especially right now. Especially if you’re a fairly sheltered 50 something and even if your heart’s in the right place. I’ve read all the critiques, and it’s starting to feel like this is something people just love to hate. Like a pile-on party. Because it’s uncomfortable. And it feels not neat, not easily boxed up, and there’s almost this sense of looking around the room and wondering if we’re supposed to be laughing or crying or squirming or what before we’re willing to let go and be in it.

I found parts hard to watch. I also loved it. Including those parts. Here are, in no particular order, a few of the moments (apart from the fashion, which, as always, made me think and gave me a break from the same same same of my IG feed) that thrilled me about “And Just Like That.” And made me think we’re in for many more.

Photo: Craig Blankenhorn/HBO Max via Vulture.com

• Big’s “solo performance.” Yep. That one. Popular culture has told us that a young woman masturbating in front of her male partner is hot (yawn!). I appreciated the long overdue flipping of the switch (pun totally fine with me). At least one one critic said how awful it was to see it. “Watching Miranda struggle to walk back comments about her professor’s braids is almost as uncomfortable as watching Big masturbate.” But you know what, I found that scene sexy. Sorry, I find guys my age sexier than guys my kid’s age.
• The funeral speech Carrie wrote for Miranda to deliver. “For today, let us remember: how lucky.” The end. I would normally say a funeral speech should have more specifics, but keeping it more open allows everyone to feel a part of it, versus having it be all inside jokes. No it’s not the Auden (“Stop all the clocks”) moment from Four Weddings and Funeral. But what I appreciate is how it was, like the room itself, grief, devoid of schmaltz.
• When Brady leans into his dad at the funeral. That tiny moment, the tilt of a boy in his sadness for his mother’s friend. Even in the midst of his most un-tender assertions of independence. It said so much. It got me.
• Charlotte, on loss, to her girls: “Death is a part of life. It’s the saddest part, but it’s also really important part. Because it gives us a chance to remember how much our loved ones mean to us. So while it’s sad it still can be beautiful.”
• Che. Che is bigger IMO than the main characters in episodes 1 + 2. It’s possible that we’re moving to a larger ensemble show. And I loved EVERY moment in Che’s company. How about when they go to Gloria, Big’s secretary, with a tissue? When they forgive Miranda for her outburst (Miranda: “You think this is funny?” Che: “Not yet but gimme an hour or two and I’ll work it into a solid tight 10”) and deliver that generous line about the “big daddy silverback papa bear.”

• Gloria and Sanford and Gloria. Sanford is such a shit about the seating, and I like that this makes us look at the classicism of the show. When Gloria says “there’s a slew of papers to get through” — it’s this reminder of how frothy and detached it’s been. While we keep moving.
• Samantha’s departure explained. This is a cringey moment I totally relate to. And it’s the first show to deal with it that I’ve seen. The pain of a friendship breakup. I find it totally believable that Samantha, with one income and increasing age, would feel financial fears, especially with the changing of her industry. That Carrie’s “firing” her would do carnage to the relationship rings true. (If you believe what you read, money was at the heart of Kim Cattrall’s actual split from SJP.)
• Carrie: “I’m never going to fall asleep here. Can you give me another pill?” Miranda, reading the label. “Not for another 5 hours.” It’s this tiny relatable moment. but for me it explains a lot of the criticism. Miranda is a slavish rule follower and logic-driven person. It helps her feel in control when she’s spinning. Remember how she made that pros and cons list when she was deciding whether to end her marriage? This, to me, is why she struggles so much with the white savior and other moments. She desperately wants rules! She’s like “But in How to Be an Anti-Racist, it says that you have to-” instead of looking at context. “It was unclear to me whether that was a white savior moment or not,” she says, another time when it’s clearly not. And yes, this rings true. The literalism is pure Miranda, but also, honestly lots of 50+ liberals are f*cking up when it comes to race, and looking for a fix. These fuckups, though, these trial and error moments, living in the awkwardness, are what will move us forward.

• The post-funeral return to Carrie’s gift-laden foyer. It’s such a poignant recall to when Big left Carrie at the altar and then Carrie had to return to the pile of wedding gifts. Which ultimately led her to realize she couldn’t handle this alone. And then every detail is dialed up, the balloon arrangement plays “these are the good times.” Big’s left Carrie at the altar once again.
• The one-liners. To my friends who say the writing wasn’t sharp, are we watching the same show? There’s that biting ability to mirror the harsh insanity of life with humor delivered in the dark. To name just a few
• Miranda when Brady uses Big’s funeral as an excuse to smoke pot: “Maybe I should kill myself so you can try crack.”
• When the girls come from the funeral and find that foyer full of stuff. Miranda: “What part of no flowers do orchid people not understand?”
• And Carrie, disbelieving when with her friends she’s handed a cardboard box her doorman. Containing her husband. “Maybe I checked a box that said “please surprise me at home with my dead husband’s ashes?”

These are just a few I remember.

And one more thing I want to note here.

These are the first 2 episodes. A lot of new characters introduced. A gone character explained. The circumstances established after all this time without assuming only past watchers will watch now. There was a lot of nitty gritty to handle up front. Over the past few weeks of football season, I’ve done a deep dive on two shows that both are critically acclaimed, both focused on women, in a setting of some privilege: Shrill and The Sex Lives of College Girls. They’re not focused on 50-somethings. Both of them were full of cringey moments. Both intentional and incidental. And those were some clunky early eps. Both took more than two episodes to establish the basics and get going.